Welcome to the United States of America

A friend of mine from high school posted the following on her facebook page:

"GOOD AFTERNOON, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a nation founded on Christian principles, land of the Free and home of the Brave. How may I help you? Press '1' for English. Press '2' to disconnect until you learn to speak English, and remember only two defining forces have ever Offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your Liberty."

I found that to be unspeakably offensive. Probably offended her when I replied with "A land founded on genocide and the idea of freedom from religious persecution, actually. Why should we be a nation of English-only when so many other nations are doing great with two or three languages in use across their lands?"

We'll see if she replies to that.

But seriously, folks, this land wasn't empty when Europeans got here. There were multiple cultures patchworked across this great nation, with their own practices and beliefs and languages and problems and technology. Europeans came here to escape poverty and religious persecution and obscurity (depending on who we're talking about) and ended up killing off those cultures with disease and violence and broken promises. Then as the Europeans spread west, they decided to yank whole chunks of land out of Mexico's hands, and now we complain about immigration and language?

Really, what's so wrong about being a bilingual country? Huh? What's the problem there? Many Americans (I hate that term, because we're just one country in North America, but "USians" sounds weird, so bear with me please) think that travel to other countries is easy because "Everybody speaks English." Let me correct you: THEY DO NOT. But you've got a better chance of finding someone who speaks at least a little English in a non-English speaking country than you do of finding someone who speaks, say, Mandarin when you're visiting France, or Russian when you're visiting Taiwan.

We border a fucking Spanish-speaking country. We have a fucking Spanish-speaking protectorate (Puerto Rico). So ... what's the problem with people in this country speaking Spanish? Why can't we learn Spanish if we expect others to learn English?

Now here I'll make it very clear that yes, Spanish is INCREDIBLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. All those conjugations and masculine/feminine and OH GOD the subjunctive but - oh wait, no, that's the the problem, is it.

It's racism. Pure and simple. You come here and you don't speak English? Clearly you're stupid, lesser, a mooch, etc.

Clearly.

Except not.

Did you know that many international students who come to the US to study have a low opinion of their American classmates because Americans speak only one language? That those immigrants who come here speaking Spanish and learning English would seem far, far smarter to a great deal of the world because they're not monolingual?

Oh, and I really should point out that I'm assuming my friend was referring to Spanish-speakers in her post. Yeah, I know, assuming is wrong. But she lives in Texas, so ...

Right. It goes for everyone then who comes here with no English. It was the Polish, back when I was in Jersey. Up here in Massachusetts, it's Swedes and Indians, mostly. They're here, trying to learn a new culture, a new language, all while maintaining their own cultural heritage. That can't be easy. But you don't see them whining that no one speaks their first language.

And then there's the religion thing.

I. Am. So. Fucking. Sick. Of. People. Calling. This. A. Christian. Nation.

Really.

So sick of it I could just scream.

I'm not sure where to start with this, so I'll start from my personal feelings, that seems a safe enough spot. I'm not Christian. I was baptized and confirmed in the Methodist church. I was raised in the church. At the age of 26, I realized that I didn't believe in the things that you kind of totally have to believe in order to actually belong to a Christian church. Namely, I don't believe that Jesus was any more or less divine than any other human. I respect Jesus as a phenomenal teacher and humanitarian, but not as a deity.

I was always told that this country was invaded by Europeans who were being persecuted based on their religion. Why now is it that I feel like I don't belong to this country because of my religious beliefs? Is that not persecution?

My landlady is a super duper sweet woman. She's Indian, came to this country decades ago. Her English is fluent but heavily accented. I speak careful English around her to help her understand me. She's terribly excited about my thesis topic because her husband is Muslim. I'm not sure what her religion is.

I do know that she intimidates the stuffing out of me because she's a retired professor. Where'd she teach? Harvard. Yeah. THE Harvard.

English isn't her first language. She isn't Christian.

But she's American. Just as much as me or the girl who posted that offensive little learn-English-and-worship-Jesus thing to facebook.

So back off and let America be a fucking meltingpot for once, eh? That's what it's supposed to be. Makes me sick that self-proclaimed patriots are the ones keeping it from being all it can be.